The Almighty Switch
by Xo
Summary: Dib and Zim switch bodies, very confusing for those with weak brains. I warned you! Also, I'd like to note that this is a MOCKERY of ZAGZ, WHICH I HATE. It is morally wrong, and I will not even THINK about Dib/Zim. No. NOT EVER. NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS.
1. Default Chapter

Invader ZIM in: "HElp!! I've been trapped in a Human Worm Baby's Body!!"  
  
  
To make readers less confused with the dialogue later on I made this:  
body / person inside body  
This means that the person on the LEFT of the slash is the body and VOICE that is speaking, but the one on the RIGHT is the one TALKING.  
  
After they have switched, the names ZIM and DIB refer to the voice and BODYS of Zim and Dib, but this means their opposite is speaking THROUGH them. So whenever ZIM talks its DIB saying those words THROUGH him.   
And vice versa.  
BUT ONLY AFTER SWITCHING BODIES!  
  
I hope that should be enough to comprehend.  
  
  
  
Enjoy the Show!   
  
  
  
Dib is toiling away at his latest scheme to defeat Zim.  
  
Dib: AT LAST!! *lightning flash* I have FINALLY found a way to defeat Zim!! With this mental-telepathy device, I can see EXACTLY what is on Zim's mind whenever I come in contact with him! Therefore, revealing to me and my peers he is a TRUE alien, and shed his disguise!! EARTH WILL TRIUMPH OVER THE.....Zimmy.....thingy...race...whatever.  
AHAH! HA!  
  
  
He holds up a weird blue helmet with 'Dib-hair style' antenae shaped..thing..yah..right.  
  
Gaz peeks in his room looking up a bit from her Gameslave.  
Gaz: "You are SOo messed up. Remind me to disembowel you AFTER I've beaten Zybog..."  
  
Dib: "I will remind you of NOTHING GAZ! U will too busy grovelling at my feet AFTER I've saved humantity from that pathetic bug-eyed alien ZIM..who although actually is not quite a threat actually,being that he is nothing but a POOP-face, BUT STILL!!! The ALIiiiiiens the other ones THEY will come later on!! And they will do such horrible horrible things to mankind and-..that is unless they aren't SMARTER than Zim is, but DUMBER, and that would make ZIM the smart one and  
who although-"   
  
Gaz: "DIB. You are rambling again. As so often the author of this particular story does in reality. I hate that. I will destroy you later."  
  
Gaz exits.  
  
Dib(to himself): Hmmph. I do not ramble! I do not excesivley reapet myself over and over and over again, and contsatntly change the subject to something else without making a bridge between the two phrases like such as talking about defeating zim and then going into how much I ramble, compared to the author and- ..at least not as much as the author does.  
Sigh. Gaz. She's just jealous of my SUPERIOR intellect..HEh heh heh! Foolish Gaz. She hasn't any idea between the difference between ME and that ignoramus of an alien ZIM. We have absolutely NOTHING in common heheheh! RAMBLE!! HAH! What sort of a joke is that. RAMBLE... Hehehhe...Hmmm. I wonder what ZIM is doing at this very moment..?"  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, in Zim's house-  
(in the deep secret bowels within the house)  
  
Zim: "Hmm. I wonder what my arch nemisis is doing at this very moment?? Probably some DISGUSTING FFFFFfilthy HYooo-mannn habit...like Sleeping!!!*grinds teeth at that vile word* Or, RAMBLING or something..Ngg, heh. OR BATHING..Or making a poopy. Dwa! NWAAHAHAA!!"  
  
GIR(in doggy suit): "Hehe ner her! heehee!"  
  
They laugh together for a couple of minutes..GIR continues several seconds after the joke has worn off.  
  
ZIM: SHUT UP GIR!! I am busy working on something!!  
  
GIR: oh! SHInee toy!  
  
ZIM: Shiny yes, but not a TOY GIR! *holds up what looks like a weird helmet but with 'horns' on it. (The horns resemble Nny's hair after the 6th issue)Lightning jumps from between the two horns.*   
THIS device will allow me to READ Dib's and any other humans thoughts when I come into physical contact with it!! THUS allowing me to infiltrate their minds and reveal their habits, strategies and weaknesses,so that we may CRUSH them like the DIRTY ROACHES THEY arrrrreeeeee...."  
  
GIR: Like Mr. Samsa?!  
  
Zim: WHO!?   
  
GIR: Wha?  
  
Zim: WHAT!  
  
GIR: How!?  
  
ZIm: HUH!?  
  
GIR: MOO!  
  
Zim: Rrr. My Tallest seems to have made your system a little TOO advanced for this brave Irken Invader..but who perhaps could FATHOM the deep depths of my Tallest's imperial knowledge..  
  
GIR: Aw! Mr Samsa needs his nap now!  
  
Zim continues to work diligently at the strange creation he has made.  
  
  
  
The next day!! 0.0  
  
Dib and Gaz are walking down the sidewalk to the Skool, Dib has his crazy helmet on, Gaz playing on her Gameslave as usaul..  
  
Dib: FINALLY Gaz! now the whole WORLD will know!! I'm going to record his thoughts, and when I do, I'm going to send the CD to Mysterious Mysteries! And THEN-  
HELOOO autopsy Tables!! Hehehe! So Gaz! how does it feel huh???  
  
GAz*sourly*: How does WHAT feel DIB.  
  
Dib: To be the sibling of a brother whose going to appear on the cover of every magazine in America-no. THE WORLD??? I'm going to be a savior, a hero! Maybe get my own TV episode!! Books published, interviews, trailers, movie silverscreens-  
While YOU just sit on that computer of yours toiling away at accomplishing the insignificant, and meaningless task of beating a villain who does not even EXIST.  
  
*still playing not listening*  
  
Dib: WELL?  
  
GAZ: I'm BUSY DIB. Go play in a slaughterhouse.  
  
Dib: ouch, that hurt.  
  
MEanwhile-  
  
Zim is walking by himself to the skool as well, coming from the opposite direction(in his skoolboy disguise of course). He has a VERY evil grin on his face, that makes one shudder and recall that infamous 'bestest friend' present.  
Oh my.  
Zim quickly hides the helmet behind his back as he sees just who happens to be coming up the road...  
  
Dib and Zim suddenly meet each other in front of the Skool building, and have a very Western movie-like staredown. Then that sword-clash effect sounds, screenshot on their eyes glaring at each other.  
  
Dib: Well!*hides helmet behind his back* It seems we meet again,...ZIM.  
Zim: *squinting even more, and smiles like a cheshire cat* yesss...DIB.*stops grinning and shifts foot innocently and stares up at the sky* Well! DIB...It appears we have a... DAY full of pathetic HYOOMan education ahead of us. Shall we proceed???  
Dib: lets.  
  
They go to class, and staredown each other again.  
  
Mrs. Bitters: Hello class. I cannot say that I am happy to see you all today, knowing that despite all my hard work and bitter efforts in educating you all so that you may go to college and succeed in life when I know that u all will end up in someplace quite similar to my own, thus knowing that no matter what I do, you have no choice but to accept your immmeniet sad sad sad fates...  
Youre all just DOOMED. DOOMED-DOOOOMED!!  
  
Dib glances over at Zim. Zim innocently whistles and looks away.  
  
Dib glances left and right and pulls out his knapsack. He pulls out the mental-telepathy helmet, and is about to pull the switch when Zim does the same thing unaware that Dib has a helmet too, and vice versa.   
Dib's helmet shoots out blue radar-like datawaves and they hit Zim full blast.  
Information appears before Dib's eyes including a profile of Zim'sbrain(which is a weird color and shape) and Irken letters whiz down the screen.  
  
Dib: Aha!this must be some kind of alien writing..I'll take the CD back home place it in my computer and decode his diabolical plans there!! HAHA! I'm so inteligent it amazes myself..  
  
Zim meanwhile is adjusting HIS helmet.  
It shoots out red radar like brain datawaves, revealing on the front screen a red profile of Dib's brain, and Irken symbols.  
  
Zim(to himself): NWAH! NWAAHHA! Stupid little EARTH MONKeeeee! AHAHHAHAHHAHHA! Oh, to ravage the depths of your mind, to Proooobe, DEEP into your DISGUSTING little secrets, DIB, from this day forth.YOu, and all of mankind shall be at my fingertips, and NOTHING, NOTHING will stop me,NOONE!! AHHHA, AHHAHA-hohWOAH-EEEK!!!  
  
The blue waves meld with the red ones, and they both repel off each other and turn violet.  
They zap their creators, and they are fried.  
  
Zim's body is sprawled out on his desk, his skin all blistered and withered, drool drips from the side of his mouth, Dib has a black eye, and his hair is burnt as messy *think old JTHM style*  
They're both unconcious.  
  
Suddenly-  
Mrs. Bitters: ZIM! DIB! I ORDER YOU, if you wish to remain a part of this student body, to REMOVE YOUR HATS IMEADIETLY.OR.....they will be immeadietly CONFISCATED!!*hisses and points, camera whizzes over to this large creepy closet, which is bolted, and sealed behind many doors,*camera 'opens' various doors* inside the large vault are cobwebs, rats, and many normal and not normal items(Tiki head, hats, baseball bat, gameboy, "Cure for CANCER" labled test tubes, a skeleton, the....CHIHUAHUA of MADNESS!!! a TV with the 'Scary Monky SHow'...etc.  
  
The two children are immobile.  
  
Mrs Bitters squints dangerously.  
  
Mrs Bitters: CON-FISsssCATionnn...  
*evil music plays, she grabs Zim and Dib's helmets and hurls them inside the vault...the doors lock back up, and mad disembodied high pitched laughter comes from behind the doors..*  
  
Dib slowly comes to.  
Dib: uhhhgghh...  
HE blinks, his vision is blurred, clears then blurs again. *camera uses Amazing DIB VISION!!*  
He suddenly gasps in horror. He stares in absolute shock at his hands as if he had some horrible THING crawling on them..  
"This..this cannot BE..its IMPOSSIBLE..how could this HAPPEN to me......Hands.  
HANDS!!! NOOO!!!"   
Gaz(who sits behind him) cackles softly.  
"What's the matter DIB?? Have you been heeding the CALL too???"  
Dib gasps.  
"DIB!?! DIB!?! Call?" He raises an eyebrow. "WHAT CaLL GAZ. WHAT call TELL ME!!"  
Gaz cackles again softly and ignores him.  
  
  
Zim meanwhile has just recovered. He shivers and rubs his head.  
"Ooooh..." Suddenly Zim clamps a hand over his mouth.  
Then he spots his hand. It is gloved.  
".....AAAAUGGGHHHHCKK!!! AIEEE!!" He screeches, snake-like 'tongue' protrudes from mouth as usual.  
He screams louder, wiggling back and forth in his seat.  
Suddenly-  
Mrs. Bitters: ZIM! If you do not learn how to control yourself, I will SEND YOU TO THE PRINCIPLES OFFICE!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"  
  
Zim's heart beats loudly, then louder and louder.  
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHH, waaah, eeeeerrr, WAHH!!! NO!! NOOOOOO! AKKKKK!"  
He falls down in his seat.  
He moans, and barely chokes: "NOoooooooo...kss...NOO...HUUGHHHHH!The hoorrrrrorrr..THE HORROR!"  
  
Mrs Bitter's eyes glow and she flies over to the boys.  
She slithers an claw-like arm and seizes Zim and Dib by the neck.  
  
She whooshes right out of the room turning into a dark blur, sending papers flying behind her.  
  
She flashes past out of the classroom, zings down the hall, slithers down some corridors...  
The hall gets more and more dungeon-like, and soon they stop. Mrs. bitters hisses, sticking out her snake-like tongue, and points at the Prinicple Office door with a bony finger.  
  
"You have been confiscaateed..."  
Creepy demon music plays..  
  
She vanishes off into the shadows, Zim and Dib sit down in the chairs in front of the principles office, which resemble torture chairs, (like the ones in Johnny's cellar).  
  
Dib/zim: SO DIB...It seems we have switched bodies..  
Zim/dib: You wont get away with this you filthy alien!!! I'll put us back to rights!!   
Dib/zim: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?!?  
Zim/dib: An interesting story ZIm...or should I say, DIB now??HAHHAHA!(hey, this evil laugh thing is pretty cool) It seems your mental telepathy waves had a malfunction..  
Dib/zim: MY telepathy waves?!? NEVER!! YOUR pathetic device is inferiour to miiiiine! It was obviously YOUR machine which was malfunctioning!  
Zim/dib:Hey...  
DIb/zim: GASP!!!  
Zim/dib: I'll just learn all about your little SCHEME Zim, by posing as you. I'll learn every trick in the book, I'll have every bit of evidence at my fingertips. Since nobody will beleive me, I will take this to my own advantage!! I'll keep you a secret and the minute we get our bodies back, POW!!! Your history!!  
Dib/zim:oh Reeeeallly??? ~_' *bows head* Don't make me die laughing Dib,do you REALLY think you can master the TRUE Zim!??! HAH! HAHAH! You pathetic earth sapien!! You wouldn't last 3 minutes!! And who says We're going back to our OLD bodies??? I'll just hafta expose MYSELF-which being YOU- so that YOU'LL wind up on the autopsy tables and I'LL be left with sweet vengence. No one will be around to notice me, and I'll just have to destroy this little wasteball of a planet incognito..an Invader's FAVORITE way of doing things. This body is better than ANY insidious disguise I could have ever dreamed of..oh yesssss DIB,I have BIG plans for that body of yours...BIG plaaaaannssssss..  
Zim/dib: NO!!  
  
Bracelets suddenly clamp themselves over Dib and Zim's arms legs and shoulders.  
They stare at each other in perpetual shock, Zim's eyes dart left and right searching for a way out of this..  
The false Dib struggles against his bonds, but cannot move. Suddenly the principle's door opens verrrrrry slowwwwwly..  
All they can see through the door is blackness.  
Eerie classical music plays..  
  
Just then a loud wind suddenly sucks the chairs inside it's nighmarish depths.(music strikes up here)  
Inside the room is a dark tornadoe, the chairs whiz round and round, glowing skulls laugh in the background, screams, and other scary noises can be heard,  
Dib/zim: AIEEEEEEK NOOO!  
Zim/dib: HELLLP! ZIM!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!  
The music strikes up louder, then the storm stops.  
The chairs fall down into an abyss of...DOOM!  
  
The chairs land into a dark river with a splash.  
  
Zim*looking up*: that's odd, I don't recall an abyss here before..the last time there were fluffy flying bunnys, and- THAT THING!! ITS BACK AGAIN!!  
::points in horror at the CHihuahua who is sitting paitently on the river bank as the chairs drift by.  
Dib's mouth drops open in shock as he floats downstream..The Chihuahua of MADNESS doesn't move it's head, but its eye follow them as they disappear.  
  
They at last come to a DEAD END. The wall has DEAD END painted on it in HUGE red letters.  
Suddenly the river drains, and the chairs bracelets unclamp, the classical music is replaced by creepy pipe-like music.  
The Dead End wall suddenly lifts up revealing-  
  
A perfectly normal secretary office.  
Dib's eyebrow lifts, and the two children walk inside.  
The wall slides down behind them, leaving no trace.   
  
A secretary is playing with a Spooky doll, saying "Blah blah blah blah, blah-blah.." over the phone.  
Suddenly she looks down and smiles at them. Zim grins a bit awkwardly.  
"ComeOnnn! come onnnnn, TALK to spooky! Aw come on TALK ta him!!" she says, waving the doll in his face.  
Zim gnashes his teeth, and walks back a couple of paces.   
Dib grins terribly at him.  
Another secretary with Rabbit ear antenaes on top of her computer growls at them.  
"You are expected.Take the Long Walk down.....THAT WAY."  
She points in the direction they oughta go.  
They walk down a ridiculously long hall, with traditonal 'Haunted House' paintings.  
They stop outside a large green door that says "THE DOOR" on it in metal letters.  
  
Zim shakingly reaches for the doorknob, and slowly turns it. It makes an exagerated CLICK.  
We pitch blackness, suddenly, a crack of blinding light, and the silhouttes of Dib and Zim's heads, the light reflecting of Dib's wicked grin, and glasses(think of the intro of IZ) and Zim's eyes glow white, and are angled with worry.  
  
There is a strange nibbling noise coming from inside the room, mixed with dentist drills, and dribbling slobbering noises.  
Their eye get huge, and they slam the door behind them and start sweating and panting like crazy.  
  
Dib: AAAAUGH!!! *HE runs down the hall*  
Zim: Odd, I don't recall hideous bone cruching sounds coming from within the principal's office either...  
Get back here Zim!!!  
  
*Dib/Zim is still racing down the hall in pure terror, then he restrains himself*  
  
DiB: no! For once, the earth germ is right. I cannot run like this!! It is against Irken pride!!  
I will NOT lose this battle!! *Zim glances as door creaks again*  
AAAAUGHHHH!!  
  
Moments later..  
  
The two boys are in class, staring nervously at each other from across the room.   
Mrs. Bitters: And SO class, in a mere second THOUSANDS of lives were GONE in a poof of smoke, when the atom bomb hit Heroshima, devouring men, women, children, senor citizens, in one fatal instant. Some tried to flee for their lives children, but DID they survive? NO. They got leukimia, and slowly but SURELY mutauted into hideos sacks of waste, they lost their eyesight, they lost their memory, their limbs, they bled out of their mouths, they were all just DOOMED!!! DOOMED!!! DOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEEDDDDD!  
  
Gaz rolls her eyes.  
  
Dib glances at Zim.  
He grins at him.  
Zim suddenly stands up.  
Zim: LOOK! LOOK! OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!!  
  
Billy: huh? Whats up with Zim?  
Fish-boy: Freak.  
  
Zim: I AM AN ALIEN an ALIAAAAANNNNN!  
LOok at me! LOOOK AT Meeeeeee!!  
  
Mrs. Bitters: you poor poor mentally challenged child...You'd have thought going to the Principal's would've traumatized you into about a days worth of silence, but NO. We have a rebel on our hands here....  
  
Zim: I am NOT crazy!! You FOOLS!! Have you not EYES!?? Cant u SEE? I am GREEN! I haven't any ears or a nose! HOW is it POSSIBLE that I am able to HEAR!!  
Dib stands up in his seat.  
DIb: *matter of factly* Silly human! You forget that we all posses SOME form of hearing DONT we?! Your specific species has a special flap of skin under their hair which enbles them to hear sounds, and feel vibrations.....SUPERIOR to any miserable Hyooooooman ears!!!  
Zim: Woah really?*takes off Zim's wig, revealing his antenae.*  
Dib:OH My TALLest!!! NO!! PUT THAT BACK ON!!*shoves the wig back on*  
Dib*freaking out*: ITS A SKIN CONDITION I TELL YOU!!*tries to put wig back on*  
Zim: *yanking off wig again* NOO Its NOt a skin condition! I was lying I am ALIEN! A FREAK!! I am going to take over the earth, and destroy you all!!  
MWAAH! WAHHAHAAAAAA!  
  
Whole class's eyes blink stupidly, in utter puzzlement.  
Dib: You..rmmmmmfff...HAVE..A SKIN..CONDITION! Stop trying to deny, you unworthy youth leech!!  
Zim: NO!! I am one of the...Zimmy...doom.....thingy.....race..POOP..*thinks hard about a name*  
  
Mrs. Bitters: Zim, I am afraid we will have to send you to the school Counselor. I do not permit loonies, or crazed little future homicidal-maniacs to participate in my class.  
  
Dib: Thats right Mrs. Bitters, hes crazy. I TRIED to TELL you all before..Its so difficult, you know, but hey, I'm just trying my best. I suppose the Principal just wasn't hard enough on him..  
  
Zim: I AM NOT crazy I tell u! I am not crazy, I'm not crazy! *two security guards pull a kicking screaming Zim out*  
Zim: No!! WAIIIIIT! The truth will be revealed! IT WILL BE REVEALLED!! AAHHHHHHHH!  
*The doors slam behind them, and Zim wails in a Dib-like fashion*  
  
Later-  
Zim is sitting in a rainbow colored classroom, the sign from Squee's bedroom("Smile! even though your life is miserable") is hanging on the left wall, and a pretty blonde lady is sitting at a desk.  
  
"Lets all give a big HAPPY welcome to our newest student!! His name is-  
Will you say your name for us?? Slowly and nicely!"  
  
Zim/Dib steps to the front of the class, and stares respulsedly at his new classmates. There are about 5 large tables with crayon boxes and kindergarden toys.  
One of them has two heads, and the rest are the 'rejects' from the "Bestest Friend" episode, and CHunk from "Battle Dib".   
  
Zim: Um.....My name is Dib, but, I guess u can all refer to me as ZIM from now on..I once was a normal student with a normal life until a stinking ALIEN decided to take over our planet. He has been lately been trying to find ways of eliminating me, and has been posing as a student in my class. He looks just like I do as a matter of fact, now that we've switched bodies and all..you see, we both developed mind reading devices, so that we could find out about the other's dirty schemes and strategys, and expose them to our leaders..only some kind of malfunction occured when the two brain waves mixed, and switched our BODIES instead..Zim MUST BE STOPPED!! So I ask you-  
DOES ANYONE BELEIVE ME!?????  
  
Keef raises an eyebrow. He holds up a squirrel in a birdcage, the other arm is bandaged.  
"you aren't Zim! THIS is Zim!!"  
The squirrel growls menacingly.   
  
Zim: SEE!? See what kind of hideous things he has done?!? If we don't stop him now he'll-  
  
Miss Cheers: Isn't that LOVELY CLASS!!!! You may sit down Dib..I I-I mean ZIM.  
  
Zim: Sigh..*he sits down next to the frightened boy*  
The fright boy: EEeeeeeh!!!  
He runs out of the classroom.  
Miss Cheers: oh DEAR not again..everyone take some crayons and color, this may take awhile..  
She leaves the room, the students begin drawing.   
Zim doodles a sketch of Dib being cut open..he grins wickedly, then reflects for a moment, then throws it away and sketches zim being cut open.  
He reflects again and sighs. He crumples up that drawing too.  
  
Meanwhile-  
The fake Dib is getting aquainted with HIS new body.  
Some kids ask Dib if he'd like to sit with them at lunch.  
"Um...well, I uh.."  
'ME??! Associating with these Fffiiilthy filth-beings?! IMPOSSIBLE!'  
"NEVER!! You squeamish fools are not WORTHY of my exalted prescense.."  
The popular blonde girl's eyes light up.  
  
"WOah Dib...ya know, I never liked you before being you were like so unpopular and all, but now, you are actually acting popular too, so I guess it'd be the only sensible thing to do.."  
Dib: Miss, have you gone positivly MAD!?!?  
  
Popular girl: Uh-  
Dib: YOU of all PEOPLE!?? I'd rather be the lowest of the low, than be the topest of the....top...supremo...thingy...if it meant I had to socialize with a scummy scum-face being like yourself!!  
YOU ARE THE MOST UTTER DISGRACE TO YOUR SPECIES YOU STUPID SELFISH SPOILED PIG!! AND I,THE ALMIGHTY AND POWERFUL DIB, WILL NOT TOLERATE IT!!! Now leave me beeeee...  
  
The popular kids are in utter stupification, and the popular girl's eyes are wide as dinner plates.  
Popular girl: FINE THEN, Dib. You had been offered the blessings of the In-crowd, but stubborn as you are, you-...hey, where's evryone going??? Huh?!?"  
  
Everyone at her table was crowding round DIb.  
"Wow that was awesome, nobody ever dared to talk to Sandra that way!! You have gotta be the bravest kid in history!! You spoke to the POPULARS? Wow..our allegiance, is with YOU Dib..."  
  
Dib*grin*: I know.  
Tony: hey, gang, lets all sit with Dib now!!  
  
Dib/Zim giggles to himself.  
"Hey, sibling-child!!"  
  
Gaz looks up from her gameslave angrily.  
"COME! SIT WITH ME!! I command you to!!"  
  
Gaz shakes her head. "Shut up Dib, you are pathetic. You are going to make me vomit."  
  
Chelsea: Ah, forget HER, Dib, she's just a figment of our imaginations, like all those other insignficant people...  
Tony: You're with US now!!  
  
Dib/Zim isn't listning though, he is staring at Gaz.  
'What a strange human..so DIFFERENT..so eccentric..so VERY eccentric..I shall hafta watch out for that Hyoooo-man..the one named...GAZ.'  
'Hmmmmmm......perhaps, I would LEARN MORE about that disgusting Dib, so I could act more like him, through his sister..that way I'd be INVINCIBLE in this plan.....'  
  
"You guys go ahead.." said DIb/Zim grinning deviuosly. "there is SOMETHing I must do."  
Dib walks over and sits next to Gaz.  
  
"So, DIB, you figured out the truth about aristocracy??" Dib didn't answer. He was too busy staring at Gaz's face.  
Gaz: DIB stop STARING at me. You are driving me REALLY up the walls THIS time..." she plays harder.  
Dib still stares at her.  
Gaz's eye pops out, and she raises her fist. She whops the fake Dib upside-the chin, and he lies sprawled on the floor.  
  
Tony: HEY! Look what that unpopular kid did to Dib!!!  
The populars gather round Dib and hoist him up.  
"Are you okay DIb!? Are you hurt?"  
Dib wobbles and sinks to the floor in a daze.  
"I'm okay...I'm ok...and please. CAllme..ZIM"  
  
They look at each other in puzzlement and shrug. "WHATEVER."  
  
  
  
  
  
The real Dib sits in the cafeteria corner with the other rejects. Keef is playing with his squirrel.  
  
Zim: LOOK at him. JUST LOOK at him!! Soaking them all up like he was soem kind of....evil SPONGE-thingy!!"  
  
The two-headed kid is breathing down his back. Zim moves down a seat.  
  
Zim: I have GOT to get my body back before things get any worse!! But how?! HOW!! OH my spleeeeeeeennn...*he groans from the horrible lunch food*  
Waita sec..do aliens HAVE spleens???   
  
No matter.  
Well, at least things weren't SO terrible..it was so very amusing watching Zim get the punch in the face from his sister. Zim pointed at GAz and Zim and laughed madly.  
  
Tony: Hey shut up, unpopular person!!   
  
  
THAT at least was worthwhile..Then he remembered that she had thought it was HIM, who was being punched. Zim/dib gulped.  
He looked at his hands.   
"I wonder why these aliens wear gloves anyways..Well I ahd better not take them off, if there's a reason for wearing them, I am not going to reveal it!! Not autopsy tables for ME!"  
  
Suddenly he noticed GAz was gazing at him wide-eyed.  
She wasn't angry, or shocked, she was just.....STARING at him..WHY?!  
  
Suddenly, her sour little pout of a mouth broke into a warm smile..and a WINK. Tiny black and purple hearts surronded her head, and flew towards his face.  
Zim: GAAAAAAH!!   
He tried waving them off but they swarmed back for more!!  
Zim: GET AWAY FROM ME!!! STAY BACK!!!  
The hearts melted away, but Gaz's sick smile wasn't.  
Zim fell out of his seat...his sister was..NO it couldn't be..in love with....HIM!?!?  
  
Zim:Oh man. I-..I think I'm going to be sick.  
  
  
  
After school was over the kids swarmed out like ranch-cattle. Leaving behind only 3 figures..  
Zim, Dib and Gaz.  
  
Gaz sourly growled at Dib, Dib sighed at her and smiled. Then the phony Dib looked out from behind Gaz and waved with a mean nasty smile at Zim.  
Gaz slapped Dib, and sighed at Zim again.  
Zim took a step back. Then he frowned.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!!!"  
Gaz raised her eyebrows. Then she sighed again.  
  
"You're just jealous.." Dib hissed.  
  
Zim's eyes goggled out of his head, then his jaw dropped.  
"Wha!?!? I AM NOT JEALOUS!! UNLIKE YOU ALIENS, WE DON'T DATE OUR SIBLINGS!!! WE HUMANS mutilate them!! If you don't wanna be found out Zi-...I mean, DIB, you're gonna hafta stop this Tom-foolery!"  
  
"Oh Dib dib dib dib dibdibdibdib, you are SO very naive. It is obvious she likes ME..OOOF!!!" Gaz punched the wind out of the fake DIb.  
  
"you are SO obnoxious Dib. Leave Zim alone!!"  
  
Zim: GAZ! DOn't listen to hiM!! I am your BROTHER!! NOt HIM!!!"  
  
Gaz: yesss, Zim I think we're soulmates too...  
  
Zim: GAAAH!! THATS NOT what I MEANT!!! YAAGH! get away from me!! This has GOT to be a horrible nightmare it has GOTTA BE!!"  
  
Dib: owch...HAH! Stupid Zim!   
  
Zim screams and runs away, Dib's evil laughter echoing behind him.  
  
Gaz(to Dib/Zim): I hate you. *she punches him again*  
They walk home together, Zim getting more and more fond of Gaz, and GAz getting less and less of being 'related' to him..  
  
Dib: SO! GAZ! don'tcha just HATE all humanity?  
  
Gaz: you know very well I do..but why the heck have you been asking me that same annoying question about 45 times already?!?  
*she resumes playing on her Gameslave*  
Thank god for technology..*Dib is staring over her shoulder, as she loses another life*  
I HATE you, DIB.   
  
Dib: *sighing lovingly*   
I know you do.  
  
GAz rolls her eyes.  
  
Dib(in Zim's body) races for his house, but then realizes something.  
  
Zim: LET Gaz hideously butcher Zim's body! I meanwhile can go undercover into Zim territory! Then I can find all his secrets, and analyze it! Then I can bring it back to MY house and..oh my gosh..waiddaminute..if HE'S in my body then that means he going to be sleeping in MY bed, in my ROOM, in my cLOTHES!!! GROSS!!!  
And I'll-  
I suppose I will just hafta go without sleep tonight.  
  
Zim changes direction and walks toward's the real Zim's house.  
"The door probably is locked but-"  
The door swings wide open.  
  
"Hmm, wel whaddya know.." He waltzes inside staring at all the weird alien stuff.  
"It feels like it was just yesterday that I was here..*shivers at the sight of the weird monky poster above the sofa*  
  
  
Gir*dog outift*: Hello!  
Zim: GASP! and they have green DOGS from where he's from too! Oh my! I have GOT to get this!   
Zim pulls out a camera and takes multiple pics of Gir in multiple poses.  
  
GiR's eyes get all twinkly from the Flash, and he falls over.  
Zim: HAHA! I'm not going to have my trachea infiltrated this time! I cannot WAIT to send this stuff in, then Zim'll be cut open before you can say 'MEAT!'hahahah!  
Waida minute! I'M...THE...ALIEN.*Zim's lip trembles* NO!  
  
GIR: master sad? GIR'll make you happY!  
  
Zim raises his eyebrows.   
Zim: GRR?? Is that your name? GRR? GRR as in 'grr im ferocious, ' or maybe it stands for something.  
'green...raging..robot.. goofy..running robot? I wonder what the G stands for. What DOES it stand for?  
  
GIR: I-don't-know.  
GIR takes off his doggy suit and starts runing round the room.  
GIR: WHEE!  
  
Zim: uh,Right. Aparently this is a pet droid, probably for entertainment purposes, perhaps of a Tamagachi type of item..  
  
Zim walks down the hall into some other rooms, and is filled with more apall, and astonishment at every moment. He goes into the kitchen, and raises an eyebrow. He notices the toilet and the weird signs.  
The Parents are standing in a corner, cob webby and dusty.  
Zim: GASP! Those things are from Parent Teacher night!  
He slowly steps over and touches the Mom-bot's dusty surface, he rubs the dust with his gloved fingertips. Suddenly the mom's eyes light up.  
  
"DID U make the toaster pastries yet!Oh honey! You have a rash" The lights fizzle out and the Mom-bot sags down with its head lolling.  
Zim jumps back. He explores some more. He looks inside the trash can.  
He sees a tube slide going downward.  
Zim takes a breath and plunges headfirst in.  
He lands into a huge red armchair.  
  
"WOW! Look at all these CAMERAS! He..he is WATCHING people..EVERYWHERE!! Oh how LONG has the beast been plotting at this?!"  
In anguish Zim pounds his fist on a large purple button. The montitors clear and show an image of the ALmighty TALLEST!!  
  
Zim: GASP! Ohmy kidneys.  
The Tallest groan.  
Red: Not again!  
  
Later  
  
  
  
Gaz: DIb. If you don't quit BREATHING on me, I ASSURE you, you wont be breathing at ALL for very long.  
Dib: whatever you say Gaz. Oh what SHEER luck! To be siblings with one of the Irken's themselves! Oh what LUCK! What a predicament! What a-  
Gaz: Mess your face is going to be in DIB, if u dont shut up!  
Dib: GAZ! GAZ! Invader Gaz! Yes, I remeber.. YOU! YOU were the one from Operation Impeneding DOOM 1! YOU had seized the planet Doody, and completely THROTTLED ITS inhabitents! No ORDINARY invader could've done THAT!  
Gaz: Dib, what are u TALKING about?  
Dib: Yesss, its all very clear to me now! U and I, we both were assigned to ths secret planet, being the skilled beings we are!! Together, Gaz, u and me, we shall throttle this twirling sphere of inferiority, with much..THROTTLING! MWAHA!  
Gaz: Dib, u drive me crazy.  
Dib: Im not DIB! I am ZIM! ZIM I tell you! The almighty Irken invader Zim!  
  
He leaps onto the couch and lightning flashes behind him, making him look very homicidal-maniac like.  
Gaz: WHATEVER.  
Dib(to himself): I MUST get back to my original state! Dib may be acessing my Tallest at this very moment!!!! OH NO!!  
And the sooner I get my body fixed..  
*looks at Gaz wistfully full of love, hate, a respect all at once*  
  
  
-END PART 1!!- 


	2. The Fixing

Chapter2:"the plot thickens thickly thicker."  
  
A/n: so as there will not be any confusions as to who is doing what I have organized a solution.  
  
Person's body/Person INSIDE that body.  
So zim/dib is DIB but inside ZIM'S body and Dib/ZIM is Dib's body but zim is talking THROUGH it.  
  
When they are referred to as just 'DIB' or 'Zim' the names are in reference to the information on the LEFT of the slashmark. This means that this is the BODY that is saying those words, but the other person is speaking THROUGH that person.  
So when I say ZIM it is ZIM'S voice coming from ZIM'S body, but it is REALLY DIB at heart who is expressing that thought, and vice versa.  
  
I hope that is enough to make your simple pathetic brains comprehend. Enjoy the conclusion!!   
  
  
  
  
  
Red and Purple gaze in utter disgust and regret at the phony Zim, who stares in utter bewilderment.  
  
"The...the alien LEADERS!! I-I I..I can't...I don't know what to say....." Dib thought to himself. He just stared at the screens stupidly with his mouth open.  
  
Purple: Sigh. SO! How are......THINGS Zim??(lets get this OVER with..)  
  
Red: (interupting) Didn't u report YESTERDAY!?! Sheesh. You Mooch!  
Zim:..Mah..mah...mah...mah..  
Red and Purple look at each other.  
  
Purple: Something wrong??  
Zim shakes his head.  
Zim: PLEASE Masters. Tell me what was my glorious mission again?? Use excruiciating details!!   
  
REd: Huh?? But WHY Zim??  
  
Zim: I FORGOT OKAY!? Jeesh. What do I LOOK like a calculator?  
  
Purple(to red): psst..whats a calculator??  
  
Red(to purple):Apparently the kid has got some kind of amnesia problem..I think its some kind of sandwich.  
Purple(to red): you think EVERYTHING is a sandwich!!  
  
Red(to Zim): How could YOU of ALL Invaders FORGET your MISSION???  
  
Zim: I am sorry my allknowing masters. But please forgive me!!  
  
Purple: Sigh..you'd think he'd be a bit more sadistic at this point. Okay, you have been assigned a reconnaisance mission to EARTH, for Operation Impending DOOM 2, and-  
Red covers his mouth, and whispers in his ear.  
Purple's antenae stick up, and he grins.  
  
Zim: GAAASP! Operation Impending DOOM 2!?? Thats-.....uh, that name doesnt ring a bell, do u think u could give me a brief description of my..objectives??  
Zim shakes his head in terror. Things looked VERY grim for the human race..oh WHY didn't they LISTEN to his pleas?? And NOW it was beyond too late..  
The Tallest giggle.  
Red: okaaaaaaay, ZIM. You're 'mission' is to make sure every single olive on the planet is dipped in orange marmalade!!  
.............  
Zim:.........WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!?!?  
  
Red: THATS your Mission ZIM. Operation Impending DOOM! D-o-o-m stands for "Dipping Olives in Orange Marmalade!" we just SAY DOOM so that our adversaries don't know about our objective. GOT IT?? DO NOT FAIL US, OR YOU SHALL SUFFER MUCH TORMENT!!  
He winks at Purple, then slyly grins at Zim.  
  
Zim:*antenae drooping* uh...OKaaaaaaaay.....Riiiiiighht..that makes PERFECT sense...*scartches head*  
And...all this schemeing and planning and evil plots, all are devoted to finding these OLIVES and DIPPING them in maramlade??  
  
Purple: ORANGE marmalade!! ORANGE!  
The Tallest burst into hysterical tears of laughter and Red falls out of his chair.  
Red: AHAHHAH! Ohhhhh My SPINE!-HAHHA!  
  
The screens fade out and leave a VERY puzzled, astounded and annoyed DIb in Zim's body.  
  
Zim: How does one become 'Lord of all Humans' by dipping olives in..MARMALADE?? Yuckkkkkk...I suppose thats some sort of ALIEN delicacy, or maybe poision.oh its all so confusing..when this is all done and over, I shall hafta do more reasearch.  
  
  
  
Back at the Unexplained's-  
Gaz: DAAAAAAAD! Dib's bothering me!!  
The Professor: SOn! Leave your sister alone!! You know how angry she gets when she hasn't had her gummi bears..  
Dib: Uh...right.  
(perhaps these 'gummi bears' are some kind of energy supplier..)  
Dib walks up to his room, thinking the BATHROOM is his BEDROOM.  
  
"Ah! Invader Gaz has installed a teleportation device as well I see.."  
He means the toilet.  
He walks over to the toilet bowl and steps in. He flushes, but achieves nothing but getting his clothes all wet.  
He flushes again.  
And again.  
Gaz walks sulkingly over in her goth-style PJs. They have Z? pattern on the sleeves, and cobwebs all over the rest.  
She has also blue minus-the-nail bunny slippers on.  
  
"Dib. I hafta brush my teeth, finish pooping already!"  
"Justa sec Gaz!" FLUSH.  
Gaz: rrr, DIB hurry up, I gotta make TOO ya know!!  
FLUSH.  
Dib: GASP! Hey!! I'm not burning up from this water!! WOOHOO!!  
  
He starts to dance on top of the toilet splashing and flushing happily over and over again.  
  
Gaz: STOP PEEING ON YOURSELF DIB AND LET ME IN ALREADY!!   
Gaz's eyes for the first time show their whites, and she gnashes her teeth.  
She puts her fist through the door.  
  
Dib:And NOW I'm worried.  
He vainly tries flushing the toilet one more time, and opens the bathroom door, revealing Dib still in his normal clothes  
and sopping wet from waist down.  
  
Gaz's eyes widen even bigger. She steps waaaaay back from Dib, and slams the door behind her.  
"There's something wrong with your teleportation device!!!" howls Dib outside the bathroom door.  
  
Gaz(inside the bathroom staring at herself in the mirrour brushing her teeth) rolls her eyes. The toothbrush cup has a picture of Psycho Doughboy on it.  
  
Dib goes to the next room over, which is Dib's.  
UFOzines, plastic alien toys, autopsy tools, fact/fiction books, comics, graphs and lunar charts litter the rug, glow in the dark stars and planets surrond the walls, and the blanket has a large lemon eyed alien and the words "We are not alone." on it.  
Dib looks round.   
  
"where is the tranquilizer vat??"  
Tranquilizer vats are like those tubes Zim often portrays himself in, but are meant for sleeping in.  
  
He flops down on the bed, and grabs a remote control.  
"hmm..wonder what THIS does?"  
He switches on the TV.  
On the Tv screen is an advertisement.  
  
"whats round and gooey, yet nice to crunch, oh so chocaltly,and FUN to munch?   
Why its Bliss-Ballz! Oooh yeah! Malted Bliss Ballz! Melts in your mouth, brings the most deleicious bliss into your digestion system!! YEAH! Your tastebuds will  
think they died and went to Heaven!!  
Blis Ballz, Bliss Ballz, oh so squishy sweet!  
Bliss Ballz, Bliss Ballz, there the snacks we command you to buy and eat! Yeah!"  
A kid wearing an angel outfit gestures a box of Bliss Ballz at the Tv screen.  
  
Dib/Zim turns the TV off.  
"That...must be..the Earthenoids leader!! Ahaaaaaa! So! It appears these dirty humans, their oreders are to seek out these brown globes of nourishment and devour as many as possible..hmmmmm! Odd mission indeed.."  
Dib takes out an Irken stylus and sketch pad from his school backpack.  
He waves the stylus over the screen Irken letters write themselves down onto the purple screen.  
"Perhaps, it is a source of FUEL, not unlike those Gummi Bears mentioned earlier..or MAYBE it is some sort of orginazation..or maybe..*yawn* Ahh,.....I'm EXHAUSTED."  
He flops down onto the bed.   
  
3 hours later-  
  
RAT TAT TAT TAT!!  
TAP TAP TAP!!  
  
Dib wakes up in his bed, it is 2 in the morning!  
HE sees Zim outside his window, glaring at him.  
  
He lifts open the window.  
Zim: Okay Zim. Enough of this..do you REALLY expect me to beleive that your MISSION is to dip OLIVES in MARMALADE!?  
  
Dib's eyes flutter open weakly.   
"Wha?? Ngg..."  
Zim grabs Dib by the collar.  
"FIEND!! YOU LIE!! YOUR WHOLE RACE LIES!! Tried to throw me off COURSE did you!? Well I am SMARTERV than THAT ZIM!! And tonight YOU are going to help switch our bodies BACK! You're coming with me."  
  
Zim's spider legs shoot out and snatch Dib from his window.  
  
"GAAAAAAAAH!! Let go! Let go!! I don't have any Bliss Ballz!! And I am NOT changing back!!"  
Dib struggles against Zim even though it is futile.  
Zim: BLISS Ballz?! What has CANDY got to do with this!? I dont want candy!! Stop trying to trick me Zim, this story is confusing enough..   
Dib: ugghhh.....your...master...Bliss Boy..he......commanded.....me.....get.....candy..  
Zim drops Dib and laughs hysterically.  
"Y-you s-saw a TV commercial and thot...HAHHAHAHH!!! AHAHHAHHAHA!"  
  
Dib: GASP HEY!! That is MY LAUGH!! GRRRR!  
Zim: Well, one things fer sure..*spider legs shoot out again, Dib gasps* It SUREis fun being the VILLAIN for a change! AHA! AHAHHAHHA!!!  
Dib: NOOO!! *he rushes off,into some bushes, panting, jungle survival music plays*  
  
Zim's eyes glow red manacingly.  
"I KNOW you are hiding ZIM. How does it FEEL huh?! HUH!? Seems I have PICKED UP on some of your strategys ZIM, and I have PLAYED with a couple of your toys as well. AHHAHHA!"  
Dib chokes back and struggles to get up. He trips over a tree root and collapses.  
Dib: ACHK! NOOOOO!!  
Zim:AHHAHAAHA! AHAHAHAA!  
*All goes black*  
  
Much Later.  
  
They are at the Skool, Dib is unconcious and is being carried by this strange cyborg creature with 3 legs and 1 eye. It obiedantly follows Zim whereever he goes.  
They approach the locked doors. Zim pulls out a tiny laser and cuts out an opening. He and the cyborg leap through, Zim pulls over his eyes red vision goggles.  
All the lasers are made visible. He gently and cautiously walks over them, and he snaps his fingers, the robot mimics him.  
"Finally, I am beginng to have some LUCK with this body.." mutters Zim/Dib.  
  
They get to Mrs. Bitters room.  
"ah! Finally!"   
The cyborg creature lifts up Dib's limp body and places him in front of the classroom. The cyborg creature then retreats.  
  
A/n: this cyborg resembles the creature from JTHM which holds God's soda and armchair.  
  
Zim: Now Zim! We are once and for all going to change bodies!!   
Dib: uhhggggg..Fine. Lets get this over with..(besides, the sooner I get back the sooner I shall be with Invader Gaz, and the sooner I shall beat the armada at destroying this sphere ofMmmm!!!DIRT!!!!!!  
Dib takes out an Irken raygun and blasts the door with a red beam. There is a gaping melted hole in the wall.  
They march into the deserted dark classroom, a draft blows some papers nearby.  
They back against eachother in fear.  
The background goes completely black.  
Two slit-like eyes glow white and stare down at the two boys. There is a frightening hissing noise, and a pink snake tongue darts from between the two eyes.   
  
Dib/Zim: uh Dib..I mean..Zim?  
Zim/Dib: Yes?  
Dib/Zim: Do you think we-  
Zim/Dib: are b-being w-w-WATCHED???  
Music starts getting more panicy.  
Two large worm-like tentacles(think wall thing of JTHM #5 issue) spiral back behind them, but they take no notice.  
  
The slit eyes grow larger and a cheshire cat grin lights up under them.  
  
Zim and Dib: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!  
  
They run in terror, the background is completely silhouetted, but the tiled floor shows, they run on it like an endless treadmill, the two eyes the grin, and the 'worms' following them.  
DIB/Zim: YAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH! YAAAAAaaaaaaa! Help me! HELP ME!!  
ZIm/Dib: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!! Wait!! WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIT!  
  
*deep satanic bass laughter echoes behind them*  
They dive for the CONFISCATION closet.  
  
Zim/Dib wiggles the doorknob in a panic, but it is locked.  
"STAND BACK!!" howls Dib/Zim. He takes out another raygun and blows up the door. They see a combination lock on a metal door.   
Zim/Dib: THIS IS MY STREAK! You distract it!!!  
Zim pulls out a stephoscope and listens to the sounds of the lock. Dib yells and curses and groans but Zim refuses to listen. The monster gets closer.  
  
Dib: eh-heh heh heh. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!  
He runs in the opposite direction.  
The monster swerves over to the left following Dib's trail.  
Zim meanwhile is working on the safe, Dib freaking out and blasting the monster with a useless raygun in the background.  
Tink-tipt tip tip tip TONG! Tip tip tip tip tip whizzzzz whizzz.TONG! Whizzz whiiizz whizz..*Zim/Dib holds his breath* TONG!!  
Zim: AHA!   
The safe door rises up, and reveals a dark tunnel.  
  
Zim: C'mon ZIM!! HURRY UP!! I need you ALIVE!(there is always a first time for everything.)  
Dib runs screaming from the monster, and dives for the tiny exit.  
Zim follows, and the monster shoots for the porthole, but gets stuck. They back up against the side of teh tunnel the shadow of the monster on them writhes.  
The monster wails, and finally retreats.   
  
They scurry down the tunnel, on hands and knees, getting covered with dirt and dust clouds.  
Dib suddenly grabs Zim.  
"OMy Tallest..."  
He points in horror at skeletal remains covered in spiderwebs.(the bones are dressed like Mr.Vasquez himself. Hi Jhoenen!)  
The Chihuahua of MADNESS is fidgeting with them.  
  
Zim's eyes go HUGE and they crawl past nervously. The Chihuahhua's eyes follow them.  
They reach a clear area, and stop for a rest.  
  
"pant pant pantpant..you DO realize Dib, that when this is all over, I resort back to killing u." growled Dib/Zim.  
"Oh but don't forget, ZIM. Now that we have switched bodies, I have a WORLD'S worth of proof about you Zim. AND I have picked up on a few of your battle tatics.."  
  
Zim/Dib grins his zipper-like grin at Dib/zim.  
  
Dib: OH yes, that is TRUE pitiful monkey beast. But you'l also remember, that once you go back to your FIIIIIIILLLTHY original state, you'll be the miserable larvae u once were, with the danger-span of a small euglena..whose the smart one NOW..ZIM??"  
Zim/Dib gasps.  
Dib: OH, and as an added bonus, I'd like to let you know, that Invader Gaz and I, we shall be TWICE the threat I was alone to you. You'd better watch your stinkin' BACK Dib, you are NOT going to win this battle..*he grins his "i'mgonnafindoutrightnow!" look.  
Zim: In-Invader GAZ!!? What have you DONE with my sister!? Oh, you diabolical MENACE!!  
Dib: Well, who says I'm gonna change back anyways?  
Zim: it was YOUR idea! And-And-and..  
Dib:Not so smart after all, ARE we, my little sapien!!? Oh yes, I have BIIIG plans for your SISTER DIB UNEXPLAINED..  
Zim: THAT DOES IT.  
They wrestle each other, and roll farther and farther down the dark tunnel.  
  
Dib/zim is punched in the face by Zim's hard gloved fist, his glasses break.  
Zim laughs loud and evil.  
Dib:uhggg...NOOO!! Filthbeast! Dirty primitive creature!! You think THIS sort of a silly handicap will drench my victory!?  
He leaps ontop of Zim and dunks his head into a muddy puddle.  
His skin starts to burn.  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Dib laughs madly.  
Suddenly they look up to see the pile of lost treasures, heaps of gold coins and jewels mingled with ordinary skool items.  
And-  
"THE HELMETS!"  
  
They leap for the helmets.  
Zim puts on Dib's and Dib puts on Zim's.  
  
Zim:HA! I'm going to be the FIRST to find all your TRUE secrets ZIM!!! AHAHAH!  
  
Dib: pant pant pant, OH NO U DONT!! I am going to find YOUR knowledge FIRST diseased little EARTH PRIMATE!!   
The helmets glow but fade out.  
  
Dib: OH no!  
Zim; What happened!! They dont work!! Im still you and youre still ME!  
Dib: IDIOT!! WHO says we're switching bodies anyway!?!*throws away purple helmet.*  
Zim gasps. "you cant do that!"  
"watch me!"   
Dib unleashes his spider-legs, and positions himself twice his height.  
Zim: GASP! You stole MY legs!!  
Dib: they are MY legs and I stole them BACK, b/c u are too gulible and stupid to notice!  
GET BACK HERE DIB!  
  
Zim/dib scurries away.  
Dib: You fool! I'm STAYING IN THIS BODY!! And i'm going to make sure you won't live to see me and Gaz rule this world!!  
Dib/zim rushes over to Zim/dib.  
"GRRRRR!!"  
Zim leaps behind a hill of coins, and gasps.  
Dib appears on the 'golden horizon.'  
  
Dib/Zim: Prepare to breathe your last, ZIM!! Or shall I say- DIB!?! NWA! AHAH!!  
  
A/N: Zim is still wearing the blue helmet he made when he was in his normal body.  
  
Dib pulls out his ray gun and shoots the gold coins, which meld into a heaping pile of gold goo.  
Zim dashes away and pulls out another ray gun out of his backpack.  
He fires a blue blast which short circuts the legs, and the real Zim in Dib's body falls into heap of treasure.  
Dib takes a black metal stick out of his left boot.  
He presses a button.   
It turns into a white light saber!  
He charges at Zim,and Zim fires but misses-   
  
-as Dib whacks the ray gun out of Zim's hand.  
  
Frantically, Zim runs away, and Dib chases him on foot waving the saber.  
Zim hides under a large statue of Athena. He looks everywhere for something to aid him.  
He notices a similar looking white metal stick.  
He presses a button and dark light spouts from it! Its a black light saber!!  
  
"Hmm. thats convient."  
Dib is crouching on top of the statue. He suddenly leaps off and aims for Zim's head.  
"DIE YOU ALIEN MONSTER!!"howls Zim below him.  
  
Dib: AHAHHA! YEAAAAAGH!  
  
Zim positions himself, and the white and black sabers roar and clash with each other.  
They bounce off each other and pose. They have a staredown, Dib with the black and white stick, and Zim with the white and black stick.  
Zim screeches and leaps into the air, and freezes.  
Matrix like camera spins around them, and unfreeze.  
Zim misses Dib by a hair.  
Dib rolls over, and stands up again.  
His eyes glance at the discarded purple helmet. Then he smirks.  
He darts for it.  
"I'll make sure I get this body for keeps by just DESTROYING the silly helmet DIB!!"  
"NO! I wont let you!" howls Zim.  
  
Zim dives for Dib, and knocks him down, pinning him.  
The black saber rolls out of Dib's grasp and shuts off.  
"NO!!" Dib wails.  
  
Furiously, Zim makes a last effort and snatches the purple helmet and shoves it down over Dib's eyes.  
Dib struggles, but can't under Zim's weight.  
Zim twists a small knob on his Dib helmet, which projects blue datawaves. He reaches for the tiny lever on the purple horned zim helmet and pulls.  
Red datawaves shoot out and once again meld with the blue to form violet, and repel each other.  
Dib moans his last sigh.  
"Nooooo.....So.....close....so..." His eyes close and his head sags.   
  
Zim smiles feebly.  
  
"Sleep Zim. Sleep."  
  
Then he faints and rolls over off Dib's body.  
The hand clutching the white light saber unfolds, and it rolls down.  
The laser beam is dangerously close to Dib's head.  
  
The Chihuahua of MADNESS suddenly appears.  
He bats the saber an inch closer.  
It fries the purple helmet on Dib's head to a crisp, and his hair along with it.  
The Chihuahua fades away.  
* * * * *  
  
* * * * *   
Dib wakes up. REAL DIB this time..  
He gasps and feels his body all over. He whoops with joy and flops down onto the pile of gold coins making a 'snow angel' in them, unaware of the smouldering mess on his head..until..  
  
"Sniff Sniff..what's that burning scent???"  
His eyes suddenly stare up at his head.  
"YAAAA! MY HAIR MY HAIR!! NOOO!"  
The helmet is bunrt completely away, and no trace is left except the two 'horn' antenaes, which the paint has burnt black too.  
As for the rest of his hair, it has been COMPLETELY burned away without a trace, except for a large patch around each of the horns.  
  
  
So basically, he looks EXACTLY like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac from Issue's 6-7!!(except he's puny and has glasses.)  
Zim comes to, taking the Dib helmet off.  
Zim: Fool!! Look what you've done!! Now I'LL have to go to that MEASLY class of theirs and you.uh...you..  
  
His jaw drops. Dib laughs heartily.  
"THATS NOT FAIR!! NOT AT ALL!!" He jumps up and down angrilly on Dib's invention.  
"In your face!! ZIM!!"  
  
Zim suddenly pauses and stops smashing the blue helmet.  
Camera view is behind Dib's shoulder, revealing he still has Zim's shell-like backpack on.  
"Gimme my robot arms back."  
"No."  
"GIVE-  
  
"You're gonna hafta FIGHT for them ZIM."  
"THEmmmmmmmm!!"  
  
"I think I could get used to THIS.."  
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!"  
  
Dib starts laughing and the robo arms shoot out, he runs round the entire treasure room, leaping from hill to hill.  
Zim gasps for air running as fast as his puny Irk legs can go.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Meanwhile outside in the classroom-  
  
"And so class, when you grow up, you will LEARN that living is one of the most horrible experiences you can go through.  
As well as- YOU THERE!! GIVE ME THAT!!"  
She slithers over to a child's desk. It is Gaz, playing her Gameslave.  
She trys to pry it from Gaz's hands. She's stuck like glue to it.  
"Give me the GAME GAz, yor do u wish to be CONFISCATED ALSO???"  
Gaz growls at the teacher like a rabid dog.  
She hisses angrilly like a wild cat.  
She levitates Gaz by the collar with some eerie dark aura, her eyes glowing white. Gaz's hair writhes and coils like Medusa hair but she seems ignorant of everything but the GameSlave.  
"YOU-ssssssss- young lady must be confiscated as well, being that you TOO like myself heed the CALL..and THEREFORE the Principal is SsssssssSIMPLY NOT worth bothering with. As you know he-"  
  
She floats Gaz up higher, hissing softly into her ear.  
"is one of USssssssss,my dear."  
  
Gaz stares up at Mrs. Bitters sourly.  
"Put me down."  
Mrs. Bitter's eyes stare very hard at Gaz. She saunters over to the Confiscation wall, not seeming aware of the smouldering wreck in the wall.  
Gaz is dragged alongside her in the dark cloud, sitting crosslegged in midair playing on her Gameslave.  
  
"Hey, I got past Zybog!" she cries, her eyes lighting up.  
They walk through the tunnel and they reach the area where Zim and Dib are chasing each other.  
They freeze.  
Gaz suddenly widens her eyes.  
"Zim!! You are SO DEAD!! You made me lose my concetration, and I lost my chance of saving the game!! RRRRRRRR!!! I HATE YOU!! You. WILL. PAY!!!"  
  
Mrs. Bitter's hisses.  
  
Zim(blushing): Uh,heh heh...  
Dib: .........Mommy..  
Zim suddenly yanks out the shell from Dib's back and sticks it on himself. Two legs reach for the ceiling and pull him up into the darkness leaving Dib alone with the teacher of DOOM and Gaz.  
  
  
The shadow of Mrs. Bitters looms over him and stares him down gnashing her teeth, snake tongue protuding from her mouth.  
Gaz snickers, camera zooms in on her face so we cannot see either Dib or the Teacher.  
  
Ripping, hissing, and bloody murder screaming sounds ensue.  
Gaz breaks into a tiny smile, then she frowns again.  
Screen goes blank.  
  
Dib's voice:...Owch...That really HURT..  
*in creepy smoke letters*  
  
  
  
THE END  
_?  
Z?   
~_' 


End file.
